A friend on facebook posted old pictures from high school. Me and this friend weren't really close back then so there is none of me in the pictures. Which on a normal day I'd say "THANK GOD". But I've been feeling rather fat lately and it would be kind of uplifting to see a size 10 Rachel again. I couldn't be more unfashionable as I am now back then, could I be? My clothing options these days are less than pathetic. Nothing seems to fit right over my growing belly. And if it does fit, it's uncomfortable because it's either jeans, or not made of cotton. I have some pretty dresses but, I always feel like I should throw on some makeup when I wear a dress for some reason. Or brush my hair. Most days that just isn't possible if I want to make it to a playdate before lunch time.
Back to the pictures...there were pictures of a friend (former friend), and my heart sighed. It is so weird to know someone and be so close and then not talk to them anymore. I don't even know this person anymore. And really I'm okay with that (we had a falling out and I've tried to refriend her but it never seemed to work)...but looking at the pictures reminded me of how we used to be bff's. And how much fun we had our senior year. The whole situation made me feel old.
I wonder how many friends I will make and then lose over the course of my life.
I hope I make some more close friends...and I'd really rather not lose anyone else.
But no matter how hard I try...or how hard others try....for some reason it's the friends I've had since my school years that I feel the closest to, and can be myself around. I've had two bff's since elementary school and we are all each other's odd couple. There's the working mom, the single with the happening life (think Carrie from Sex and the City), then there's me; the frumpy stay at home mom. If we would have met in present day we wouldn't be friends. But something has bonded us together...our memories of childhood, then preteen rejection, followed by experiences in high school (even though by then we all had our separate cliques). Time has bonded us. I hope I never lose them. They are my gals. :)
Not that I'm not open to new bff's, but for some reason it has never worked out.
Naomi is awake after a 3 hour nap (HECK YES), so i better go!
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I know how hard it is to lose BFF's, I have lost 3. One was my maid of honor, one was a roomie after high school (but she stole from me), and one was a close high school friend. It is very hard, because you start to feel like it is something you did or didn't do. I feel the same way. You have to remember you are great!!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad about being the frumpy stay at home mom either, we all go through it. But I know how hard it can be to get out of the rut. Take sometime for yourself, and dress up, put on makeup and brush your hair, even if you go out to Wal-Mart. Believe me it will help, even if it is only for the day :)