My complaint letter (names taken out)

01 September 2009
Dear Dentist People,

This morning my three year old daughter, E. G., had a dentist appointment with Dr.K. When her name was called shortly after we had signed in, E., my younger daughter N., and I met with a woman at the door. The woman explained that I was not allowed to go back with E. during her examination/cleaning. I expressed my desire for wanting to go back with my daughter. I told her that I do not send her to the pediatrician alone, and I would not send her to the dentist or to any other medical professional without me being there with her. The woman said she’d be back in a minute and asked us to wait in the waiting room while she talked to the dentist. The woman returned soon and said that it was policy to have three year olds and up come back by themselves. I told her that we would be cancelling her appointment then, because I do not agree with that policy. The woman asked me to wait for another moment, then returned. She lead me to the office manager’s office where I do not know if she was saying that I would be billed for the visit, or if she thought my daughter had x-rays that morning that would need to be billed. We cleared up the x-ray bit, because my daughter did not have x-rays (or any medical treatment) while in the office. The office manager and previous woman, looked through my file and told me how the last time my daughter visited, she had gone back by herself. At that time, we were in a front office room, and honestly when they lead her back it was not clear what they were doing until they came back and explained that they were through. I was under the impression that they were just showing her around or something similar to that. I was not comfortable with that after the first visit. And today, when I came in, I had the intention of not letting her go back by herself.
I don’t feel like it is appropriate to not give the parent a choice in the matter. The way I was treated today, it is clear that you either let your child go back alone, or they are not welcome as patients. We live in a world where we have to be advocates for our children. Handing my three year old over to someone who is a stranger to her, is not my idea of healthy parenting. Dentistry is often considered more traumatic than going to a regular doctor. I want my daughter to understand that I will be right there with her, and not off in the waiting room with her sister somewhere. Setting up a healthy, non traumatic base for going to the dentist will help her establish trust and a good foundation with dental care. I guess we have separate ideas on how to accomplish this. I was told today that the reasons I can’t go back with her is a) there is a space issue and b) the children behave better without the parent there. I do not take up much room, so I think that argument is just an excuse to not let parents back there. And my argument for the latter is that I am more concerned with my child’s welfare than their behavior. My child goes to the pediatrician plenty and is fine with me in there, I do not see how dentistry would be any different. I am entitled to be at my child’s every medical/dental procedure. In my opinion a good pediatric dentist (or parent) would understand this.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I hope that you will reevaluate the no parent allowed policy in the future. I have talked to many other mothers in my peer circle and they are concerned with this policy as well, some have even said that they have not come back to your office because of this issue.
Sincerely,
R.G.